Liz & Me

So this one day, I met a woman of inspiration.  You may have heard her name before.  Elizabeth Gilbert.  She wrote this little book called Eat Pray Love.  I think it maybe sold a few copies in a few countries...went on to become a Hollywood blockbuster staring an academy award winning actress.

I just happen to be checking her website last week (investigating author websites ideas) and randomly discovered that she was going to be at a synagogue here in DC to do a book signing/reading.  I jumped at the opportunity and dragged my very pregnant sister (the crazy one) along with me.  We arrived right as the doors opened and patiently waited an hour in our fabulous 4th row seats to listen to Liz.  And when she finally began, it was amazing.  She was not only full of great advice, but she was funny, witty, and kind.  And she said a few swear words which made me like her even more.

At one point, she looked at me square in the eyes and told me it was time to get off my procrastinating ass and write something already.  Dummy.  Or in some words along those lines.  And perhaps it wasn't specifically directed to me- but it was the resounding message that filled the holy air of the hundred year-old synagogue that night.

It is true that I had come up with every excuse possible in my head.  I can't write right now, I need to clean the house.  I need to do laundry.  I need to go to work.  I'm too tired to think.  The kids need me.  I should drink wine with my friends.  I should spend hours on facebook and randomly check my email because at the end of the day that always makes me feel so accomplished.  Not quite.

So (standby- I'm going to make this about everyone now instead of just me) if writing (or whatever your true passion is) is what makes you feel complete, why do we procrastinate doing it?  Why do we put off the hard work, the challenging stuff, the painful exercise even when we feel so great afterward?   

Is it just because we are lazy?  Because we have to think too hard?

Or is it because we feel like we've already failed so it's not worth the effort.  Have a candy bar because that's easier and much more comforting.  Watch TV because it loves you back.  It's mindless and easy.

I have literally been procrastinating for so long now because I have gotten to a point where people (a very small amount I might add) are actually reading what I have to say.  Before I was writing for myself.  Somewhere in there I got an audience and it freaked me out and I began trying to think of what they want to hear vs why I started writing in the first place.  I've begun to throw ideas aside and listen to the voice that tells me over and over it's not good enough anymore.  So much that it has backed me into a corner where I lie in the fetal position every night and do nothing but rock back and forth.  Okay, I'm being a little over dramatic now.  But that's what it feels like as I DVR every new show that has come out this fall and spend every free second screening them and eating nachos- because I 'have' to watch these shows.

Well, Liz told me it's time to get up and do something- something that's been burning a hole inside of me.  The muse nagging and haunting my waking moments.  Put myself out there- even if the world hates it.

Enough already.  Time to write.  Time to exercise.  Time to jump off that cliff- to stop making excuses and put ourselves out there.  We will never please everyone- we must accept that.  The time has come... well, after one more quick episode of New Girl, that is.  But then- then it will be time!!