To Scare or Not to Scare

Happy Halloween!  Whether you chose to celebrate tonight or not, one cannot escape the commercialized, candy-infested holiday.  Though it may not necessarily be my most favorite holiday- I do enjoy the day- mostly now in the pleasure I see my children get from dressing up as their favorite characters and eating way more candy than they ever get to in a night (despite how much we may try to regulate it!)

Of course I loved it as a kid- just as mine do now.  So last week when I caved into their pleading and begging and brought them to the Halloween Store (generic name), I couldn’t help but be a little taken aback by the sights.

~Monster masks in the scariest possible forms

~Blood and gruesome weapons everywhere

~Nasty patch-on abrasions

~Characters from horror movies I would never allow my kids to watch

~Headless bodies dangling from a bloody rope

~Clowns!

~Disturbing babies actually eating their own legs!  It was purely wretched!

And I couldn’t help but think that we must be a strange culture- from an outside observer's perspective- as we celebrate these horrors and place them all about our homes where guests are sure to see.

I instantly felt guilty bringing my little ones there as I watched my 6 year old cringe at some of the horrible sights.  I did my best to usher her along to the princess section as quickly as possible.

I observed other parents in there as they tried to laugh off their toddler’s screams at some of the scary sights.  Oh honey- it’s just pretend!

It's true, it is pretend.  I’m not against some fun entertainment of being a little scary here and there- but this just seemed so extreme.  And then I couldn’t help but wonder- have we just gotten soft as a society?  Could that be the problem?  Do we shelter our children too much??

In the “old days” children were taught to fear God- and threats of Hell kept their behavior in check.  Granted, beating their children with belts was also acceptable behavior in the old days.  Not exactly an effective parenting technique.

I recently danced around an explanation of “Hell” to my 8 year-old when approached with the inquiry.  I was stumped for which direction to take.  I promised myself I would not ever lie to my children.   But I did not want to scare him either, as he would take it very literal.  

And then I bring him to a store where he picks up a bloody chainsaw (pretend of course) as his costume because he thinks it’s cool?  Does he really want to cause harm with it?  Should I worry about my boy turning into a chain-saw criminal someday?  I sure hope not- as he has the gentlest heart ever- underneath the dirt.  Yet something about destruction impresses boys.  Just what is the limit?

So I struggle, wondering what to do with this Halloween question.  Where is the balance?  Where does a parent draw the line as to what to shelter them from and what exactly is defined as just ‘fun’ scary stuff?