Small town girl. Joins Navy. Sees the world. Flies in planes. Hunts submarines. Gets out of military and has 3 kids. Rejoins Air National Guard as an "old lady" of 38.

A humorous compilation of stories and lessons learned. Usually the hard way.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

If You Dig It, They Will Come: How to Catch a Man.

Since the beginning of time, women have always had what is believed to be "traditional" places to find a man.  A bar.  A club.  Church.  Sporting events.  The gym. Iceland.

And while all of these "traditional" locations generally prove to produce positive results, there is a deep secret that not many in our modern society know.  It is a method that has been proven so successful- it has been kept on the down-low for centuries.  However, I am here today to reveal this secret.  Are you ready for it?

If you want to catch a man... you must dig a hole.

Yes, I said a hole.

What kind of hole?

Most any hole will do, however, it has been determined that the larger and more complex your hole, the better your luck.  Additionally, your success in catching a man will not only depend on the magnitude of this hole, but the location as well.

Sound crazy?  Perhaps.  So crazy, in fact, it works.

Observe:  Any time there is a hole, one can be guaranteed to spot men congregating.   It is true.  No one is quite sure why this phenomenon happens.  Many scientific studies have been performed to determine the cause.  However, when it comes down to it- the answer is simple.  Men are drawn to holes.  Men cannot resist investigating a hole.  A hole is the perfect location for a socializing affair.

In many cases one man will be observed digging the hole, while other men randomly stand by and watch.  In their minds they are working just as hard as the digger- by keeping him entertained, and every so often throwing out helpful suggestions to the man digging. 

And so to my single lady readers- you now know what you need to do.  Find a busy location in which men frequently pass.  Begin digging a hole.  Give it some time, and before you know it, I guarantee men will come.  Though I cannot promise you that the men that come will necessarily be your dream men, or that you will not be arrested, but you will, in fact, meet a man.  Or several.
Happy digging.  And if it so happens that you meet the man of your dreams, well a simple thank you is all that I need.  Or thank you diamonds.  Diamonds are always a good way to show your appreciation.

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