Small town girl. Joins Navy. Sees the world. Flies in planes. Hunts submarines. Gets out of military and has 3 kids. Rejoins Air National Guard as an "old lady" of 38.

A humorous compilation of stories and lessons learned. Usually the hard way.

Thursday, December 17, 2015

The E-Books Have Arrived!

The E-Books have arrived!  Well in the virtual, mystical world known simply as “Amazon.”  The paperbacks will be released January 12, 2016.  What a perfect way to bring in the new year!  

What They Don’t Teach You in Deer River is just in time to be your perfect holiday travel companion on your e-reader- for those long car rides or delayed flights.  And it is also perfect for those nights spent by the fire sipping eggnog.

My dream has come true.  I finally published my novel- and it only took me 13 years!!  So now I can officially say now that my life is literally an open book.   At least a portion of it anyways.  After reading this book you just may know way more than you ever wanted to know about me!

Ooh, and one more thing: [disclaimer] This is a book about Navy sailors.  Some words may be descriptive- and not just amazing adjectives.  (Though there are some pretty fabulous adjectives.) Some stories may involve strippers.  (But only the nice strippers, of course.)  If you are easily offended, you may want to skip this one and read the ‘G’ version:  My Mom Hunts Submarines. 

And so it goes…

I grew up in Deer River, MN- a one-stoplight town of 903 people.  Two weeks after I graduated high school  way back in the old days (1997) when everything was in black and white, I enlisted in the Navy in a combat aircrew position that had just been opened up to women.  At first we were mistaken by tiny hairless men.  Quite a few people told me I was crazy and I would be back home before I knew it.  Some of the old WWII veterans patted my shoulder, and nodded, wishing me luck.  My dad, fearing my safety, begged me not to go.  Honestly, I had no idea what I was getting myself into- which probably was best that way.  I just knew I didn’t want to fail.

Spoiler alert- I didn’t go off and become a war hero.  I didn’t save the world.  I didn’t win the Noble Peace Prize or even receive the perfect attendance award.  (I was runner-up) However; I did serve my country, met some lifelong friends, flew over 1300 hours in a war-fighting machine, kicked some submarine ass, and learned a few lessons (the hard way).  This book is a compilation of short stories and those lessons learned.

If you are looking for Steinbeck or Dickens, you probably should put this book back on the shelf and keep looking.  However, if you are looking for random entertaining stories that begin with conjunctions, contain cheesy metaphors, and improper sentence structure- well this, my friend, may be the book for you.  You may laugh.  You may cry.  You may want to dance on a barstool next time the opportunity arises.  I’m not a writer, I’m a story teller.  And this is my story.

Get your copy here:

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