Small town girl. Joins Navy. Sees the world. Flies in planes. Hunts submarines. Gets out of military and has 3 kids. Rejoins Air National Guard as an "old lady" of 38.


A humorous compilation of stories and lessons learned. Usually the hard way.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Welcome to Caribou Coffee

It was the morning after my cousin, Sheena's fabulous wedding in Grand Rapids, MN.  We were enjoying seeing family I hadn't seen in years, and celebrating- I didn't get more than probably 2 hrs of sleep.
Needless to say, on the drive from the hotel back to my dad's place, my sister Liz and I needed coffee.  And lo and behold, the sky parted and in front of us stood a Caribou Coffee, twinkling under the sunshine.  Perfect.

We pulled up to the drive-thru, the only ones in line, sitting in anxious anticipation, scheming our plans of what fufu coffee we would order.  Such a treat!  Not more than 5 seconds had gone by when we heard through through the crackly drive-thru speaker.

Girl:  Welcome to Caribou Coffee!  Would you like a grilled cheese?

Liz, who was driving, sat for a second, slightly stumped. She glanced over at me with a confused look on her face, and turned back to the speaker and politely declined.  Well, not a moment after she expressed her disinterest in a grilled cheese than the thought of the succulent sandwich of melted cheese sounded good to me- despite the fact we had practically just woken up.  I was feeling a little "tired" from the previous night's festivities and was looking for anything to make me feel better.

Me:  Wait- that kinda sounds good! [Liz stopped ]

Liz:  Okay, on second thought, we will take a grilled cheese. [My sister replied to the speaker with the voice of a young girl.  I was satisfied.  Tired, but satisfied.]

Girl:  Okay, ma'am, what kind of grilled cheese would you like?  [Liz turned back to me, yet again, confused.  She mouthed the words, What kind?  shaking her head to me, as if we had options like we were ordering a soft drink.]

I shrugged my shoulders in confusion, and Liz turned back to the girl in the speaker.

Liz:  Um, what kind do you have?

It was then that the girl in the speaker began her to attempt to ramble off every kind of gourmet cheese, though unable to pronounce the majority of them and soon began slowly sounding them out.  This continued for sometime and at this point, Liz and I couldn't help it any longer.  We lost it.  We began laughing uncontrollably at the situation.

My first thoughts were, Oh wow, we're totally going to offend this girl.  But they were quickly put at ease as she began cracking up as well.  So there we were in the coffee drive-thru line and this girl is going through the lists of all of the different types of grilled cheeses they had, meanwhile the line of cars behind us continues to grow.  After her list seemed done, Liz answered.

Liz:  Um, which is your favorite? [she asked the girl as neither one of what she had just said as we were too busy laughing]

Girl:  Well... do you like spicy?

Almost in unison, both Liz and my stomachs turned at the thought.

Liz:  No, not spicy-

Girl:  Okay, well how about the blah blah blah kind?  [Still have no idea what she said]

Liz:  We'll take it!  And can we also get two coffees?  I need a nonfat peppermint mocha with whip and a white chocolate mocha without whip.

Girl:Okay so you want whip on both?

Liz:  No, just whip on the peppermint mocha.  [how did this get so complicated?]

Girl:  So no whip on the peppermint mocha.

Liz:  Whip on the peppermint.  No whip on the white chocolate.

Girl:  Okay, do you want milk, white, or dark?

Liz & I:  What?? [we began cracking up again]

Girl:  [silence]

Liz:  I feel like I'm high- I can't stop laughing [more laughter]

Girl:  [more silence]

Liz:  [hoping she didn't hear the last comment and called the cops.]  Okay, I'm sorry.  What was it that you said?

Girl:  [sigh] Do you want to just pull up to the window?

Liz & I:  [more laughing]  YES!!

We pull up to the window.  At this time the line of cars is nearly out to the road.

Girl: [Comes to the window]  Okay, would you like milk, white, or dark chocolate in your peppermint mocha.

Me:  [I'd never been asked such a question before and clearly was unprepared]  Um, what is your favorite?

Girl:  I like white.

Me:  I'll take milk.  [wasn't trying to dismiss her feelings, but after second thought- milk chocolate definitely sounded best.]

The girl shakes her head, hands me my grilled cheese in a bag and goes off to make our coffee orders.  We hear her take the order of the person behind us & once again, trying to sound out the names of the cheeses.  This cracks us up yet again.  We are nearly crying now.  Girl comes back with drinks.  We thank her through our laughter.  Liz is trying to hand her a credit card.

Girl:  Wait- did you guys already pay?  [It strikes us as the funniest thing ever and we start laughing again.  Liz shakes her head no through her laughs and hands the slightly annoyed girl her credit card.  We pay and drive off.]

Suddenly I spot the Dairy Queen and all of a sudden Dairy Queen seems like the best idea ever.  We proceeded to go through the Dairy Queen drive thru...

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